They were more than just your spouse—they were your best friend and constant companion through the highs and lows of the chapters of your life. Living without them is not just tragic, but in some ways, it may feel terrifying. Where do you turn when you have lost someone who was such a large part of who you are?

We have helped many who are grieving the loss of a spouse. Navigating the feelings of grief is challenging, and our grief care team has specific training enabling them to support you in the best ways possible. Our resources and guidance will help you cope with your loss in meaningful ways. Did you know that our grief support is available for up to 13 months following the loss of a loved one? If you’re grieving, don’t go it alone. Contact our team for help.

Through our decades of experience in helping grieving spouses, we have gathered some tips and advice that we believe will be useful for you during this difficult time.

Tips for Grieving the Loss of a Spouse

Lean on Your Support System

We’ll go into this in a bit more detail later, but it’s vital to remember that you are loved and that there are people in your inner circle who care about you. We hope you know that you can include us in that inner circle too. At 3HC, we treat you like family, and when you grieve, we are here to offer support and grief counseling. 

Your support system may include:

• Aunts, uncles, and extended family
• Friends
• Coworkers
• Members of grief support groups
• Religious leaders or clergy members
• Therapists and trained counselors

Take Care of Yourself

This is an important tip for grieving the loss of a spouse—and it’s one that most people ignore. We realize that this is probably the furthest concept from your mind as you’re maneuvering through this new, unfamiliar aspect of your life, but it is equally vital.

If you can’t take care of yourself, you’ll have more difficulty moving through grief. We encourage you to:

• Get exercise—even if it’s just a walk around the block.
• Eat nutritious meals, and if you don’t feel like cooking, allow members of your support system to cook for you.
• Get plenty of sleep.
• Avoid smoking or drinking during this time; it can place your health at risk.
• Don’t put a “timeline” on your grief: There is no fixed point when grieving is “over.” Give yourself a chance to process and cope with what has happened.
• Continue to do things you enjoy; this means participating in your favorite hobbies or pastimes. This will help you move through your grief. 

Reach Out to 3HC’s Grief Care

We see you as members of our 3HC family, and therefore we pledge to be with you and guide you through this grieving process. You have access to our bereavement services and support groups. We’re always here for you. 

Who Should I Talk With About the Loss of My Spouse?

Your Support Network

This is the time to call upon your friends and family in your support network. Ideally, they have been with you through your spouse’s sickness, providing assistance when possible. They are often the first ones you should speak with concerning the loss of your spouse. 

At 3HC, we treat you like family, and we hope that you consider us a vital part of your support network. For us, being family means helping you when you need it most, providing a listening ear and assistance whenever needed.

Religious Leaders/Clergy

If you don’t have a support network, or if you need another option, you can speak to a member of the clergy or religious leader. You can also speak with our hospice chaplain. (While 3HC does have chaplaincy services, we are not a religious organization, and we do not promote any one faith or belief system.) 

Support Group Participants

Through our loss of a spouse support groups, you’ll find others who can empathize with your intense feelings, and perhaps offer guidance on coping methods that helped them during their time of need.

3HC offers grief support groups for members of the community. We encourage you to speak with us for assistance and guidance. We are here for you.

Professional Therapists

There are licensed, professional psychologists and therapists who specialize in grief counseling. They can provide an additional layer of support as well as a “safe space” for you to express your feelings.

What Are Some Good Coping Mechanisms for Spouse Grief?

Our grief care professionals help you find healthy, productive ways to cope with spouse grief after losing your partner. Some of the things we recommend include:

Cherishing Special Memories

Did you have a favorite movie? Perhaps a fun holiday tradition? It can be comforting to look back on wonderful memories to keep your loved one alive in your heart. Going through photos, sharing stories and even listening to their favorite music can bring a surprising amount of comfort.

While it is important to remember the good times, recognize that some traditions may have to change and transform in light of your loss. 

Taking Care of Yourself

We won’t go into detail because we have mentioned this before—but it is so vital to your grieving process that we believe it needs to be repeated. Taking care of yourself, getting enough sleep, exercising and eating nutritious meals are all a vital part of going through the grieving process. If you find it difficult—or impossible—to take care of yourself, we encourage you to reach out to a trained counselor for support.

Indulging in Creative Activities

Journaling, painting, music—all of these creative activities can nourish you, often providing a healthy outlet for your grief. You may even want to create a memorial scrapbook in honor of your loved one. 

We’re Here to Help You Grieve the Loss of a Spouse

Don’t feel you have to be “strong” or hide your feelings when working with your 3HC team. Remember that we care for the whole family, offering resources and support when you need it most. 

We offer individual support along with informative mailings and phone calls created specifically to guide you through this process. 

Accessing our grief care/bereavement service is simple. Please contact:

Edith Keesecker, MA, BSW

3HC Bereavement Experience Coordinator

(919) 735-1387, ext. 1510 or (919) 437-8039

ekeesecker@3HC.org